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Der Hunger von der Krabbe
Summary you scrubs dont get one because this rp made me hungry and theres no good food in this hOuSE gOD- this taks plaic in z-69420 or whatever Transcript Of Incomprehensible Madness * ** 5:50Cravitus*Jib suddenly finds himself in Ave's penthouse, and the smell becomes overwhelming* ** 5:50MysteriousTriangleguy( All that glitters is not NACHO CHEESE OR SOMETHING ** 5:50Invader JibJib: What just... ** Jib: you know what, forget it ** 5:50CravitusAve: "-Alright, 1201's almost done... What else, what else?" ** BLU: "Did you remember the peppers?" ** Ave: "Yes, and I remembered to hide them from Ader." ** Ader: "Foooood-" ** Ave: "No, that is a bad! Stay!" ** 5:51Invader JibJib: HEY ** Jib: I THINK THE AROMA OF FOOD TELEPORTED ME HERE ** Jib: OR SOMETHING ** Jib: JUST EXPLAIN WHAT'S GOING ON PLEASE ** 5:52Cravitus*A clank is heard, and Ader flies screaming in terror at Jib* ** BLU: "INTRUDER!" ** 5:52MysteriousTriangleguyAll that glitters is not NACHO CHEESE OR SOMETHING ** 5:52Cravitus*BLU peered his head around the corner of the kitchen, and his red eye stared menacingly at Jib* ** 5:52MysteriousTriangleguy(bril summary am i rite ** 5:52CravitusAve: "Hm?" ** 5:52Invader JibJib: No seriously ** Jib: I just ended up here out of nowhere ** 5:52CravitusAve: "Oh, it's just Jib. Stand down." ** Ave: "Yeah, it happens, but I never see how you people get in..." ** 5:53Invader Jibpro summary @lurk ** Jib: Yeah uh me neither ** 5:53Cravitus*Ave gets back to work on a hot vat of cheese; the source of the amazing smell* ** Ave: "Let's see, let's see..." ** 5:53Invader JibJib: OH ** Jib: SO THAT'S WHAT THAT WAS ** Jib: *looks over the cheese* ** 5:53CravitusAve: "Multiple cheese variants, spices, peppers, what else..." ** 5:54MysteriousTriangleguy*For a split second, Zeerk walks over, takes off his underpants and clothes, and slowly poops out a loaf of bread* ** 5:54CravitusAve: "The hell-" ** *Ader crawled back into the kitchen* ** Ader: "..." ** Ader: "I do not want this food-" ** 5:54Invader JibJib: JESUS HAVE SOME DECENCY ** 5:55MysteriousTriangleguy*Zeerk poops out glittery pink jelly on the bread, and walked away with poorly made uncanny valley animation* ** 5:55Cravitus*BLU screeches in terror* ** Ave: "Did I leave the door unlocked or something-" ** *Ave's oven begins beeping vigorously, and his eyes widen* ** 5:56Invader JibJib: It's probably one of those time errors ** Jib: Happens every tuesday ** 5:56CravitusAve: "Hold that thought! Jib, take these and take out whatever's in there!* ** *Ave tosses oversized oven mitts at Jib's face* ** 5:56MysteriousTriangleguy*Lurk phases out of a wall* ** Lurk: hey look a oven that i can destroy- ** 5:57Cravitus*BLU screeched, and slapped lurk with a spatula* ** 5:57Invader JibJib: *Jumps triumphantly at the oven, aggressively pulling out it's content* ** Jib: *half the cheese falls on his face, scorching him* ** 5:57Cravitus*In Jib's hands were a pan of more cheese, freshly baked and seasoned chips, and BACON WEAVES.* ** Ave: "Careful, careful!* ** 5:57MysteriousTriangleguyLurk:*Explodes with cheap cgi explosions* ** 5:57CravitusAve: "Bring it over, quick!" ** *Ader devoured the Lurk explosion hungrily* ** Ader: "Fooood-" ** *Ave slapped Ader's hat with a spoon* ** Ave: "No! Not yet!" ** 5:58Invader JibJib: *attempts to bring it over, but a time vortex sucks in his foot, causing him to trip and all of the food to go flying* ** 5:58CravitusAve: "Come on, then, Jib!' ** Ave: "LOOK OUT-" ** 5:58MysteriousTriangleguy*The food suddenly freezes in the air* ** 5:59Invader JibJib: ... ** Jib: uh ** 5:59MysteriousTriangleguy*The nachos, protected by supreme nacho goodiness, float over to a plate on the table* ** 5:59CravitusAve: "...Uh, okay then." ** 5:59MysteriousTriangleguy*The nachos emit an eerie yellow light* ** *Darrz suddenly appears* ** Darrz:GOSP ** Darrz:f00D ** *Darrz smells the nachos* ** 6:00CravitusAve: "They're not done yet!" ** *Ave rushed over and barged Darrz into Ader* ** 6:00MysteriousTriangleguy*Darrz's eyes go inside out, and he falls over seemingly dead* ** 6:00Cravitus*Ave took out a knife, and viciously sliced the BACON WEAVE* ** 6:00Invader JibClod: Hey guys why wasnt i invited to this- ** Jib: GET OUT OF HERE YOU CLOD ** 6:00MysteriousTriangleguyDarrz:THE SMELL IS TOO DELICIOUS- ** 6:00Invader JibClod: *Single tear* ** 6:00Cravitus*Ave continued to dice the BACON WEAVE* ** 6:01MysteriousTriangleguy*Suddenly a poorly filmed lurk puppet with shades appeared* ** 6:01Cravitus*Ave triumphantly used the knife to slide the DICED BACON WEAVE into the cheese vat* ** 6:01MysteriousTriangleguyLurk Puppet: *Stares at joob with live action puppet face* ** 6:01Cravitus*Ave added more cheese, and stirred vigorously, sending napalm-like driplets of delicious nacho cheese everywhere* ** 6:01MysteriousTriangleguyLurk Puppet: i c a n s e e y o u r d e a t h ** 6:02Cravitus*The Lurk puppet was struck in the eye with napalmcheese!* ** *Lurkpuppet began to smoke profusely.* ** 6:02MysteriousTriangleguyLurk Puppet: *deflects mlg pro skill bcause rasons* ** 6:02CravitusAve: "Almost there...." ** Ader: "Fooood." ** Ave: "Almost there..." ** 6:02Invader JibJib: Good thing i no longer fear death ** 6:02MysteriousTriangleguyLurk Puppet: ALRIGHT LISTEN UP YOU ONE LIFE SPANNED THREE DIMENSIONAL FIVE SENSED SKIN PUPPETS ** 6:02CravitusAder: "No." ** *Ader slapped the Lurk Puppet with a krevtovian ham shank* ** 6:03Invader JibJib: Unless those rumors about me having no soul are correct ** 6:03MysteriousTriangleguyLurk Puppet: YOUR BOI LORK HERE, WITH HIS Nrated AVERII, AND WE'RE ABOUT TO COOK THIS cutefemalepuppy.png ** 6:03Cravitus*Ave's stirring grew faster and faster, and suddenly...* ** *THE FOOD WAS READY.* ** 6:04Invader Jib*suddenly, a tentacle bursts out of the wall and steals most of the food, laughing demonically* ** 6:04CravitusAve: * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsFYPVxHKdc* ** 6:04MysteriousTriangleguy*A figure in the backround holding a camera thumbs up, his face seeming to be a tint of orange, hidden by the darkness in a dim room nearby* ** 6:04Invader JibJib: I KNEW IT ** Jib: THE SPACE SQUIDS ** Jib: YOU SAID I WAS CRAZY ** Jib: BUT HERE WE ARE ** 6:05CravitusAve: "Space-squids-wha-" ** *Ave sees the tentacle* ** 6:05MysteriousTriangleguyPuppet Lurk: ALRIGHT WE GONNA ADD 40 POUNDS OF FRIED CHOCOLATE ON THIS BI- ** Puppet Lurk:NOOOO ** 6:05CravitusAve: "NO! ENTRA WARNED ME ABOUT THIS, AND I DIDN'T LISTEN-" ** 6:05MysteriousTriangleguyPuppet Lurk:WHERED THE NACHOS GO?! ** 6:05CravitusBLU: "You never listen!" ** Temporal Umbra has joined the chat. ** 6:05CravitusAder: "Foooood!" ** *Ader began scuttling towards the tentacle, snapping his pincers aggressively* ** 6:06MysteriousTriangleguy*The figure walks into the light, wearing a hood, the familar theme of a once glorious kids tv network now turned into live action horrors plays* ** "You have failed me for the last time." ** Puppet Lurk: NOOOOO ** 6:06Cravitus*Ader screeched and leapt at the tentacle, snipping angrily* ** 6:06Temporal Umbra(oh god ** (currently connected to phone ** (because blackouts ** 6:07Invader JibJib: Wait ** 6:07MysteriousTriangleguy*The figure pokes Puppet lurk, causing his hairy puppet skin to melt off, revealing hyperrealistic flesh, muscles, and bone, despite being a puppet* ** 6:07Invader JibJib: Oh god ** Jib: I think my foot is still stuck in a time paradox ** 6:07MysteriousTriangleguyPuppet Lurk: *Unholy distorted screech, grabs Jib and stares into his soul with a skinless face, muscles and bone visible* ** Puppet Lurk: I AINT GETTIN NO BOOTY TONIGHT ** 6:08Invader JibJib: um ** 6:08Cravitus(argh brb ** (shower ** 6:08Invader JibJib: Nice screamer face ** 6:08Cravitus*Ave, BLU, and Ader battle fiercly to retrieve the Nachos from the spacesquid!* ** 6:08MysteriousTriangleguy*Puppet Lurk melts into a pool of unidentified, viscous, white milky fluids* ** 6:08Cravitus(rp around krev while i go shower then idk ** 6:08Temporal Umbra(is this a serious rp or a crack rp ** 6:08Invader Jib(crack ** 6:09MysteriousTriangleguy*The figure teleports away, laughing demonically* ** 6:09Invader JibJib: ...white milky- ** Jib: I HATE MY LIFE ** 6:09MysteriousTriangleguy*Zeerk returns* ** Zeerk: I got surgery and I'm a woman now. ** 6:09Invader JibJib: ... ** Jib: uh ** 6:09MysteriousTriangleguyZeerk: I also got this cool lobster arm. *Snaps pincer* ** Zeerk:Ugh..hold on...wait..its happening ** Zeerk:cQAUGH-GAWK-*COUGHS, GAGS* ** 6:10Invader JibJib: WHAT ** 6:10MysteriousTriangleguyZeerk: *Vomits dry wheat* ** Temporal Umbra has left the chat. ** 6:10MysteriousTriangleguyZeerk: *Strains and poops out bread* There we go. ** 6:11Invader JibJib: WHAT IS WITH THAT ** 6:11MysteriousTriangleguyZeerk: i have to go to hell now ** Temporal Umbra has joined the chat. ** 6:12MysteriousTriangleguyZeerk: *Sprouts 4, pink, pulsating, slimey nipples and expands them, making them bouncy and filled with helium, Zeerk bounces away on his 4 giant nipples* ** 6:12Invader JibJib: ... ** Jib: I'm gonna try to unsee that now ** 6:12MysteriousTriangleguy*Screams can be heard outside as Zeerk crashes through the ceiling and outside into the city below, vehicle crashes are heard, along with explosions* ** 6:14Invader Jib*Suddenly, Jib's lost foot appears right next to him* ** Jib: ...well that's great ** Temporal Umbra has left the chat. ** 6:14MysteriousTriangleguysevn: this defies all known laws and goes far beyond any categorizations of fucks of what is currently going on ** Temporal Umbra has joined the chat. ** 6:14MysteriousTriangleguy*A giant Fionna head with a hand growing out of it suddenly crashes in, grabbing Sevn and eating him* ** 6:14Invader JibJib: EVIL ** Jib: *Shoots the fionna head* ** 6:15Temporal Umbra(is it me ** (or is it just ** 6:15MysteriousTriangleguy*The head falls off of the pent house to its death, screaming numerous yuri fanfic titles* ** 6:15Temporal Umbra(when someone says EVIL ** (i hear the spongebob version ** 6:15MysteriousTriangleguy*Suddenly Jibs hands turn into lemons* ** 6:15Invader Jib(thats everyone dont worry* ** Jib: Oh ** Jib: I was gonna write those yuri fanfics down for research purposes- ** 6:16MysteriousTriangleguyLemon:*Sprouts a hyper realistic mouth* EVERY VILLAIN IS ** Lemon2: L E M O N S ** 6:16Invader JibJib: I wonder ** 6:16MysteriousTriangleguy*The lemons nip at jib with their unnatural human teeth* ** 6:16Invader JibJib: OW ** Jib: *Shoves the lemon hand into his mouth and chews* ** Jib: *Blood comes out of the lemon* ** Jib: AGGGH I REGRET THIS ** 6:17Temporal Umbra(why am i having flashbacks to this painting of a pear with a mouth ** 6:17MysteriousTriangleguy*Jibs hands are revealed to be made of donuts this whole time* ** 6:17Invader JibJib: Oh okay ** Jib: *Eats the other hand* ** Jib: OH GOD IT STILL HURTS- ** 6:18MysteriousTriangleguy*Blood drips from his donut hand, and muscles and flesh seems to be under the donuty goodness* ** 6:18Invader JibJib: THIS WAS MY GOOD HAND ** 6:18MysteriousTriangleguy*Darrz climbs up from the ceiling somehow right side up* ** 6:18Invader JibJib: DAMN IT ** 6:19MysteriousTriangleguyDarrz: I hate you all and I hope youll regret what youve done. ** 6:19Invader JibJib: Join the club ** 6:19MysteriousTriangleguy*Darrz dissipates into flowers* ** *Suddenly, Iso appears from the front door, but then closes it as soon as he sees Darrz's flowery remains, being spooked or perhaps just bored* ** 6:21Invader JibJib: ... ** Jib: um ** Jib: oh ** 6:21MysteriousTriangleguy( ok i havent slept in 24 hours and im probably only going to get 30 minutes extra sleep tonight so i must dream of endless nightmares now ** 6:22Invader Jib(ok ** 6:22MysteriousTriangleguy( HAVE AN RP PAGE FOR RECORDING THIS BECAUSE GOD DAMMIT IT GETS BORING AT SKOOL AND I NEED SOMTHING TO READ WHILE THAT WEIRD LUNCH GIRL WITH IRONICALLY NICE LEGS STARES INTO MY SOUL FOR 30 MINUTES ** All that glitters is not NACHO CHEESE OR SOMETHING) ** Temporal Umbra has left the chat. ** Temporal Umbra has joined the chat. ** 6:24MysteriousTriangleguy* MysteriousTriangleguy tipped his hat and went inside of it, as it rearranged its fleshy structure to fit his triangular body, then imploded into non existance after its owner used it as an interdimensional wormhole ** 6:25Cravitus*Ave roared triumphantly as he speared the Squid through it's head, it's tentacles releasing him as Ader continued munching on the other nine he'd snipped off* ** Ave: "YEAH! Have some of that!" ** Temporal Umbra has left the chat. ** 6:26Cravitus*BLU secured the nachos, and was observing patiently, keeping them warm.* ** 6:26Invader JibJib: YES, IT'S DEAD ** Jib: ONE OUT OF SEVEN THOUSAND ** 6:26MysteriousTriangleguy* MysteriousTriangleguy returned because reasons ** 6:27CravitusAve: "Seven thousan-Yeah, actually, that isn't my problem right now." ** 6:27MysteriousTriangleguy*The nachos seem to distort light around it like a black hole, and its delicious smell only intensified* ** 6:27Invader JibJib: *Attempts to grab a nacho and is thrown back* ** 6:27Cravitus*Ave shrugged the twitching tentacle away, and Ader grabbed it greedily, slicing them apart and devouring them hungrily* ** Ader: "FOOD, FOOODFOFODOFODODOFOOD-" ** Temporal Umbra has joined the chat. ** 6:28CravitusAve: "BLU, status report on 1201!" ** *BLU struggled to dip a chip into the cheese, and jammed it into a slot on his chest* BLU: "FLAVOR READINGS OFF THE SCALE." ** 6:28MysteriousTriangleguy*The nachos emit ball of yellow light, engulfing all the squids, causing them to turn into pepperjack cheese melt sandwiches WITH SUM GOOD SAUCEGODAMMITIMHUNGRY-* ** 6:29CravitusBLU: "THIS MAY BE IT, COMMANDER." ** *Ave gasped* ** Ave: "We've... Perfected it?!" ** 6:29MysteriousTriangleguy*The nachos emit another ball of light, turning any nearby furniture into delicious spahgetti* ** 6:29Invader JibJib: The nachos have saved us from a brutal squid related death ** Jib: PRAISE THESE NACHOS ** 6:29CravitusAder: "MFLGRHH." ** Temporal Umbra has left the chat. ** 6:29MysteriousTriangleguy*The nachos retract the light ball, and shoots a yellow laser at jibs arm, turning it into a toasted mouthwatering sub sandwich* ** 6:29Cravitus*Ader ate the squid-sandwiches hungrily* ** 6:29MysteriousTriangleguy(FoodPorn: The RP ** 6:30Invader JibJib: WHAT THE ** 6:30CravitusAve: "...That isn't normal!" ** 6:30MysteriousTriangleguyDarrz: *Walks in* GUYS IM ALIVE- ** 6:30Cravitus*Ave looked at the Nachos suspiciously.* ** Ave: "I think we've made them..." ** 6:30MysteriousTriangleguy*The nachos begin to vibrate and shake* ** 6:30CravitusAve: "TOO PERFECT." ** *Ave roared and leapt at the nachos hungrily* ** 6:30Invader JibJib: WE HAVE TO KILL THEM BEFORE IT DOMINATES THE UNIVERSE ** 6:31CravitusAve: "GET 'EM BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE-" ** 6:31MysteriousTriangleguyBuff Lurk: *Bursts in* GET DOWN EVERYONE ** *Buff Lurk grabs Ave and JIb, taking cover* ** Temporal Umbra has joined the chat. ** 6:31Cravitus*Ave gets away with a handful of nachos* ** Ave: "NO, WE NEED TO EAT IT!" ** Ave: "BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!" ** 6:31MysteriousTriangleguy*The nachos emits a wave of pure deliciousness, causing everything nearby it to turn into food* ** Buff Lurk: AUGH ** 6:32Invader Jib(CRACKING THE JIBLET 2:THE SEQUEL: REVENGENING REIGN OF PAPURULON, EATER OF DONGO KOMBO this is the best title ever ** 6:32MysteriousTriangleguyBuff Lurk:QUICKLY, MY DELICIOUS SEXY MUSCLES CANNOT DEFLECT DELICIOUSNESS OF THIS MAGINITUDE ** 6:32CravitusAve: "Too late!" ** 6:32MysteriousTriangleguy*Buff Lurks back began to turn into fried cheese, sizzling and covered in melting butter* ** Buff Lurk: HURRY, STOP THE NACHOS ** 6:33Cravitus*Ave glanced at the ones in his hands, and shoved them into his mouth* ** 6:33Invader JibJib: *Gains a rocket launcher out of nowhere, firing it at the nachos* ** 6:33Cravitus*He paused, and gulped* ** 6:33MysteriousTriangleguy*One of the nacho chips gains an eye and a tophat, and spins into Buff Lurk's head, slicing it in two* ** Buff Lurk:HAAAUGGHAUGH ** 6:33CravitusAve: "Sweet merciful Tallest, this is amazing-" ** BLU: "THE CHIPS HAVE RETURNED FIRE." ** *Ader continued to munch on his squidsandwiches.* ** 6:34MysteriousTriangleguy*The rocket turns into a fried dong and flies back at Jib, squirting out the most delicious mayonaise in existance* ** 6:34Temporal Umbra(oh god ** 6:34Cravitus*Suddenly, Nightmare Ave fell from the ceiling, and smashed it into the dirt with his buff boots* ** 6:34Invader JibJib: EUUUUGH ** 6:35Temporal Umbra(why am i sending an undertale ask to ask ace attorney ** (pretending to be sans ** 6:35MysteriousTriangleguy*The mayonaise gets on jibs face in slow motion, a tiny unexplained darrz walks over, holding a sign called "BRUZZERS"* ** 6:35CravitusN-Ave: "DAMN IT, AVE, YOU HAD ONE JOB!" ** N-Ave: "ONE JOB!" ** 6:35MysteriousTriangleguy*The nachos emits another delicious wave, turning the tiny darrz into a cookie with legs* ** 6:35CravitusAve: "I couldn't help it! I had to perfect it!" ** 6:35MysteriousTriangleguyCookie Darrz: EEEEEEEE *Attempts to run from Nightmare Ave* ** 6:36Cravitus*Nightmare Ave eats Cookie-Darrz* ** N-Ave: "We've got to finish this before we're ALL delicious!" ** 6:36MysteriousTriangleguy*The nachos emits another wave, Buff Lurk's decapitated corpse provides shielding for the characters because plot* ** 6:36Invader JibJib: *Tastes one of his fingers* ** 6:36Cravitus*Nightmare Ave dives behind the decaying Buff Lurk, and lifts up Jib and Ave by their collarsd* ** 6:36Invader JibJib: Oh god ** Jib: Cheesy ** Jib: IT's HAPPENING ** 6:37MysteriousTriangleguy*Ave's penthouse turns into fried chicken, and his TV turns into fried pepperjack cheese* ** 6:37CravitusN-Ave: "THIS IS IT-" ** Ave: "No, not my television, damn it-" ** *Talbolt walked in through the door* ** Talbolt: "Hey kid, want to wat-" ** 6:38Invader Jib*Jib's right eye turns into an onion ring and falls out* ** 6:38Cravitus*Talbolt paused, and stared at the chaos.* ** 6:38MysteriousTriangleguy*The wave hits Talbolt, turning him into a zaxbys mascot* ** 6:38CravitusTalbolt-Mascot: *Screaming externally* ** Ave: "We need reinforcements!" ** 6:38MysteriousTriangleguy*Buff Lurks corpse falls over, being transformed entirely into fried cheese and bacon* ** 6:38Invader JibJib: Oh god ** Jib: I have sudden desire to be eaten ** Jib: NOOOOO ** 6:39CravitusAve: "Hold on, Jib!" ** 6:39Invader JibJib: *Screams as his antennas turn into bacon* ** 6:39MysteriousTriangleguy*Suddenly Iso bursts in* Iso: DID SOMEBODY MENTION MY KINK- ** 6:39CravitusAve: "It's eat or be eaten!" ** 6:39MysteriousTriangleguyIso:Oh. ** 6:39Cravitus*Ader screeches, and leaps at Iso's head* ** 6:39MysteriousTriangleguyIso:Hm ** 6:39Cravitus*Ader begins sucking on his head like a ring pop* ** 6:39MysteriousTriangleguyIso: EUGH, FUGGOT. ** 6:39CravitusAder: "FOOD." ** 6:39MysteriousTriangleguy*Iso slaps ader into a wall* ** Iso:HMMM ** 6:39Cravitus*Ader takes a chunk of Iso's head with him, still eating it* ** 6:40MysteriousTriangleguyIso:...Yes...I've seen this before. ** 6:40Cravitus*N-Ave throws Jib and Ave at the Nacho pile, and BLU continues to just stand there* ** N-Ave: "JUST EAT IT!" ** *N-Ave moonwalks out of here* ** 6:40MysteriousTriangleguy*THe chunk of Isos head seems to be extra spicey, almost ghost pepper flavored* ** 6:40CravitusAder: "Hot food gud." ** *Ader begins getting steamy.* ** 6:40Invader JibJib: *Attempts eating the nachos* ** Temporal Umbra has left the chat. ** Temporal Umbra has joined the chat. ** 6:40MysteriousTriangleguyIso:LET ME USE MY SUPER ADVANCED GOGGLES TO SEE WHAT THE PROBLEM IS. ** 6:40Temporal Umbra(oh god ** 6:40Invader JibJib: THEY'RE ** 6:41Temporal Umbra(what have i done ** 6:41Invader JibJib: TOO STRONG FOR ME ** 6:41Cravitus*Ave hungrily chomps at the nachos like a ravenous animal* ** 6:41Invader JibJib: *is flung into the wall* ** 6:41Temporal Umbra(i sent an undertale ask to ask ace attorney ** 6:41MysteriousTriangleguyIso: *Puts on goggles and looks at the nachos, they fall off due to him having no eyes* ** Iso: YOU FOOLS ** 6:41Cravitus*Ave begins floating, kept only in place by his gnashing jaws* ** 6:41MysteriousTriangleguyIso: IT IS FAR TOO LATE TO EAT IT ** 6:41CravitusAve: "NEVER TELL ME THE ODDS-" ** 6:41MysteriousTriangleguy*The Nachos ave consumed reverse time, regenerating* ** 6:41CravitusAve: "THESE ODDS SUCK, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME-" ** 6:42Invader JibJib: *Watches both his hands become made of french fries8 ** 6:42MysteriousTriangleguyIso: AT THIS POINT, THIS ENTIRE PLANET WILL BE TURNED INTO DELICIOUNESS, THEN YOUR ENTIRE DIMENSION. ** 6:42Cravitus*Ave is flung into Jib, slamming them both back.* ** 6:42MysteriousTriangleguyIso: Because, lonely bug. ** Iso: I'm gonna need a huge buffae for when I conquer all of reality. ** 6:42Invader Jib*Jib's face begins to turn into hamburger meat* ** Jib: I NEVER WANTED TO DIE THIS WAy ** 6:42CravitusAve: "HOLD ON, JIB!" ** Ave: "IT'S EAT OR BE EATEN, DAMN IT!" ** Temporal Umbra has left the chat. ** 6:43Invader JibJib: YOU ARENT HELPING ** Temporal Umbra has joined the chat. ** 6:43Cravitus*Ave begins dragging Jib towards the Nachos once more, for a final effort* ** Ave: "I won't go down without a fight!" ** 6:43MysteriousTriangleguyIso: *Puts on a bib that says "I PINECEST" * ** Iso:NO ** 6:43Invader JibJib: *Shoves the entire case of nachos in his mouth* ** 6:43MysteriousTriangleguyIso:YOU FOOLS ** 6:43Cravitus*Ader finished Iso's headchunk, and seemed lobster red* ** 6:44Invader JibJib: *Suddenly, his entire body becomes melted cheese* ** Jib: DONT YOU REALIZe ** 6:44MysteriousTriangleguyIso: I NEEDED THAT FOR MY BUFFAE- ** 6:44Invader JibJib: EATING IT IS WHAT IT WANTS ** 6:44MysteriousTriangleguy*Jibs stomach begins to glow yellow* ** Iso:AHHHH ** 6:44CravitusAve: "No, Jib! IT'S EATING YOU-" ** 6:44MysteriousTriangleguyIso:YOU FOOLS ** 6:44CravitusAve: "IT WAS EAT OR BE EATEN, JIB!" ** 6:44MysteriousTriangleguyIso:YOU'VE MESSED WITH THE NATURAL O R D E R ** 6:44CravitusAve: "EAT OR BE EATEN-" ** *Ave was flung out the window* ** 6:44Invader JibJib: TELL VEX I FORGOT TO RETURN THE KEYS TO HIS SPACESHIP ** 6:45MysteriousTriangleguy*Jib begins to expand, Donkey Kong is seen running away from the building outside, getting in a ship* ** 6:45Cravitus*Ader hiccups, and begins to walk over to the Jib-Nachos* ** Ader: "Food gud. Me like." ** 6:45Invader JibJib: NOOOOOOOO ** 6:45MysteriousTriangleguy*Jibs eyes glow white yellow, he expands to horrific proportions* ** Iso:AHHHHHHHHH ** Iso: *Head turns into a turnip, lies over, dead* ** *Jib glows bright yellow, reality begins to collaspe* ** 6:46Cravitus*Ader holds the Jib-Nacho up for a minute, staring at them.* ** Ader: "Food." ** Ader: "Fooood." ** 6:46Invader JibJib: NO ** 6:46MysteriousTriangleguy*Ave's penthouse begins to break into pieces, all floating in the air* ** 6:46Invader JibJib: STOP ** Temporal Umbra has left the chat. ** 6:46MysteriousTriangleguy*Aves penthouse glitches into random objects, and becomes a mass of glitched textures* ** *Jib expands more, becoming the size of a truck* ** 6:47Cravitus*Ader suddenly takes a bite...* ** *Ader's eyes widen* ** 6:47Invader JibJib: THIS IS PAINFUL ** 6:47CravitusAder: "FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD-" ** 6:47MysteriousTriangleguy*Reality begins to crack, rifts tear open all over Irk* ** 6:47Cravitus*Ader glowed bright red, howling, and ravenously devours the Jib-Nachos into a very jib-like shape in almost an instant* ** 6:48MysteriousTriangleguy*A loud warp noise is heard, Ader glows white* ** 6:48Invader JibJib: *Soon, a robotic eye and mechanical hand were all that was left of jib* ** 6:48MysteriousTriangleguy*A shockwave emits from Ader, turning reality into nothing but static* ** 6:48Invader Jib*meanwhile* ** Vex: I think jib is dead ** Vex: eh ** *sad music* ** 6:49MysteriousTriangleguyIso: *Floats in an empty void* YOU SICK PERVERTS RUINED MY BUFFAE. ** 6:49Cravitus*Ave floated by* ** Ave: "It's buffet, ring-pop." ** 6:49MysteriousTriangleguyIso:that and you destroyed the universe but Im not bothered by that. ** Iso:OH YEAH, AND YOU KNOW WHAT ENTRAS BRA SIZE IS ** Iso:One word ** 6:50CravitusAve: "DO NOT-" ** 6:50MysteriousTriangleguyIso:PUSHUP- ** 6:50CravitusAve: *Screaming externally* ** 6:50MysteriousTriangleguyIso:HAHAHA *Points at Ave,laughing* ** Iso: ANTE FELT BETTER- ** 6:51Cravitus*Ave slaps Iso with one of the nachos he'd grabbed, unamused* ** 6:51MysteriousTriangleguyTerrz:*Floating in the void, sitting with JIb missing his body, now a head and detached burnt arms* ** Iso:OH YOU DID JUST NOT- *Tackles Ave* ** Terrz:*Playing cards* ** 6:52Cravitus*Ave begins wrestling with Iso, and Nightmare Ave drifts by* ** 6:52MysteriousTriangleguyTerrz:*Looks at Jib* Uh... ** 6:52CravitusN-Ave: "You had one job!" ** 6:52MysteriousTriangleguyTerrz: Go fish? Thats what we're playing, right? ** Terrz:Or is this..that earth game..."Checkers?" ** 6:53Cravitus*The Talbolt-Mascot continues screaming, and drifts into Iso and Ave, breaking them apart* ** 6:53MysteriousTriangleguyTerrz: *Stares at jibs lifeless blown off head* ** 6:53CravitusAve: "I WASN'T DONE YET-" ** 6:53MysteriousTriangleguyTerrz: Youre not dead right. ** Iso:HOW BOUT INSTEAD OF A BUFFET I JUST COOK YOUR FRIEND OVER THERE INTO BIRD SOUP ** Iso:OR BETTER YET, DRUM STICKS- ** 6:54Cravitus*Tal-Mascot screams even louder* ** 6:54Invader JibZyl: lol he dead ** Zyl: i needed this cameo before i am killed off in a contrived way ** *Zyl is hit by a space train* ** 6:55Cravitus*Ave's PAK-jets kick in, and he gives Iso a jetboot to the head* ** 6:55MysteriousTriangleguy*Iso grabs a fork and a spoon for some reason, and splits his head in half, revealing teeth and a tounge* ** *Iso chomps on Ave's boot with his teeth, breaking through the boot* ** 6:55CravitusAve: "Hey, now, that's expensive-" ** 6:55MysteriousTriangleguy*Suddenly Zyl regenerates because reasons* ** 6:56Cravitus*Ave begins kicking Iso's head with his other foot* ** 6:56Invader Jib"JIB OCS NEVER DIE" says a demonic voice, followed by laughter ** 6:56MysteriousTriangleguy*Iso sprouts a dong, and rubs it all over Aves face* ** 6:56CravitusAve: "Now that's just indecent." ** 6:56Invader JibZyl: I wonder if i still have sue powers ** Zyl: *turns half invisible* ** 6:56Cravitus*Ave's bubble helmet repels it long enough for Ave to put up his helmet.* ** 6:56MysteriousTriangleguy*The sound of the voice can be heard screaming as "DADDY DO YOU WANT SUM SASUAGE" plays* ** 6:57Invader Jib(btw im dead fucking serious when i say zyl turning invisible was actually a thing at one point ** 6:57Cravitus(gg ** *Nightmare Ave slam-kicks the dong into Iso's teeth* ** 6:57MysteriousTriangleguy*Nipple zeerk returns, protected by his nipple milk* ** Nipple Zeerk: GAY RAINBOWS FOREVER ** 6:58Cravitus*Suddenly, the void shook with a roar, and a gigantic Ader appeared!* ** 6:58MysteriousTriangleguyNipple Zeerk: *Rips stomach open, shooting out millions of doughboy mascots, they all collectively gang up on ave and iso* ** 6:58Invader JibZyl: oh ** Zyl: lol looks like u guys r fucked ** 6:58CravitusAve: "This is a BAD-" ** 6:59ButterflyMask(i want to see vok be nipple zeerk's sugar daddy ** 6:59CravitusAder: "Foooood." ** 6:59Invader Jib(vok x nipple zeerk ** (otp ** 6:59Cravitus*Ader opens his mouth, and begins inhaling, sucking everyone in towards him* ** 6:59MysteriousTriangleguyIso:ITS FUNNY BECAUSE IVE BEEN ALIVE LONG ENOUGH THAT NONE OF THIS IS OUT OF THE ORDINARY FOR ME- ** 6:59Cravitus*Ader narrows his eyes, and looks at Vok in particular* ** Ader: "FOOOOD." ** 6:59MysteriousTriangleguy( you realize nipple zeerk has 4 giant nipples filled with helium right ** 7:00Cravitus*Ader's pincers snipped together, capturing Iso and tearing him away from the doughboys and Ave, leaving them to fight it out* ** 7:00Invader Jib(this was a joke ** zyl: lol im too cool to be sucked int ** 7:00MysteriousTriangleguyIso:EH ILL BE BACK FOR THE NEXT RP ** 7:00Invader Jibzyl: see u later fuckers ** 7:00Cravitus*Ader bites Zyl's legs off* ** 7:00Invader JibZyl: OW ** 7:01Cravitus*Aders tosses Iso down as a chaser, chomping him up as well* ** (cosmic horror ** (after a universe dies ** (there is only ader ** (and ader consumes the survivors ** 7:01MysteriousTriangleguy*The fionna head from earlier returns, with glorious glutes extended into wings, it fights ader over zyls flesh* ** *The fried buff lurk floats in space, begging to be eaten* ** Nipple Zeerk: FOOD ** 7:02Cravitus*Ader screeches, and stabs Fionna with his claws, injecting them with something* ** 7:02MysteriousTriangleguy*Nipple Zeerk shoots goat milk from his nipples, jetting him toward the fried buff lurk* ** 7:02Cravitus*Ader screeched, eyeing Zeerk, and slapped him away, reaching for the Buff Jib himself* ** 7:02Invader Jibzyl: *eats popcorn he found floating in space ** 7:02CravitusAve: "Wait a minute, if all of them are here, then..." ** 7:03MysteriousTriangleguyGiant Fionna: eeuugh~ be gentle honey ** 7:03Cravitus*Ave gasped, and began looking around* ** 7:03MysteriousTriangleguyGiant Fionna: *deep black man voice* INJECT ME MORE BABY ** 7:03Cravitus*Ader grunted, and stabbed Fionna again as he consumed Buff Jib whole* ** N-Ave: "What're you looking for, jackass? A way out?" ** N-Ave: "'Cause there isn't one." ** N-Ave: "At least, I think." ** 7:04MysteriousTriangleguy*The fionna head suddenly turned into a chryssalid zombie, still moaning in pleasure from the injection* ** 7:04CravitusAder: "Is gud." ** 7:04Invader JibZyl: eh okay ill be involved in this* ** 7:04Cravitus*Ader resumed devouring the survivors, starting with Zyl* ** Ader: "FOOOOOOD." ** 7:04Invader JibZyl: *Epiclly punches ader, but realizes it only breaks his hand* ** 7:04Cravitus(i don't even know what is happening anymore* ** Ader: "FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD." ** 7:05MysteriousTriangleguy*nipple zeerk roars at ader, angered at the loss of his food* ** 7:05Cravitus*Ader bites off Zyl's body, and he is left just a head floating in space.* ** 7:05Invader JibZyl: ...this really hurts ** 7:06Cravitus*Ader pinches Zyl between his claws, and crushes the head before tossing it at Zeerk* ** (what is this even anymore, jib ** (have we gone too far ** 7:06MysteriousTriangleguy*Suddenly a hyper realisrtic uncanny valley cgi Dib head bursts through a giant red rift filled with what seemed to be human embryos and intenstines, along with hershey white chocolate bars and cheesburgers with special sauce* ** Uncanny Valley Dib: IM GONNA FUNKLE THE GRUNKLE, YEEEEEEEEEAAAUUUAGH ** 7:07CravitusN-Ave: "Man, that's a big head." ** *Skabb suddenly peered out from under N-Ave* ** Skabb: "Oh god he's here for me-" ** *Skabb glutched Nightmare Ave's collar* ** Skabb: "H i d e m e." ** 7:08MysteriousTriangleguy*Suddenly a pool of white vicious fluid filled the void, suddenly, the characters realized the code of conduct was finally dead for reels, and that the fluid was actually- ** 7:08CravitusSkabb: "I must preserves the law-" ** 7:08Invader Jib(what if the uncanny valley dib head is actually the real big bad) ** 7:08MysteriousTriangleguy*The screen turns black, then opens up to Aves penthouse* ** 7:08Invader JibJib: OH GOD IM ALIVE AGAIN ** 7:08Cravitus*Ader puts Jib down, and dusts him off before hicupping.* ** 7:08Invader JibJib: *Calls vex* ** Vex: eh ** 7:09CravitusAder: "Me make all gud now." ** 7:09MysteriousTriangleguy*Ave seems to be covered in white sticky cinnamon glaze, cinnamon buns are everywhere* ** 7:09CravitusAve: "...What the hell-" ** 7:09MysteriousTriangleguyLurk:*Groans* Augh..what happened last night ** 7:09Cravitus*Talbolt screams and jumps out from the restroom* ** 7:09MysteriousTriangleguy*Lurk wakes up with a giant wine glass on his head, with his hair stuck in it* ** Darrz: GUYS I HAD A DREAM WHERE ZEERK HAD 4 NIPPLES ** 7:10Cravitus*Talbolt runs out the door* ** *Ader walked over to Darrz and pet his head calmly* ** 7:10MysteriousTriangleguyDarrz:YOU WERE THERE, YOU WERE THERE... ** 7:10CravitusAder: "No cry now, only dream." ** 7:10Invader JibZyl: So am I gonna get my body back anytime soon- ** Jib: no ** 7:10Cravitus*Ader stared into Darrz's soul aggressively* ** 7:10MysteriousTriangleguyDarrz:*looks over to Jib and Clod* Except you. I dont remember you. ** 7:10CravitusAder: "O n l y d r e a m." ** 7:10MysteriousTriangleguyDarrz:*Backs away slowly* ** 7:10Invader JibClod: NOBODY REMEMBERS ME *runs away crying* ** 7:11MysteriousTriangleguyLurk:Well at least everything is normal now. ** 7:11Cravitus*Nightmare Ave pokes his head out from the kitchen* ** 7:11MysteriousTriangleguy*The camera zooms out of the penthouse, revealing a crystaline hand* ** 7:11CravitusN-Ave: "Where are my boots-" ** 7:11MysteriousTriangleguyIso: *PLaying with puppets of the cast* DUHHH HEY IM NIGHTMARE LURK AND IM NOT GENERIC AT ALL ** Iso:OH YEAH WELL YOU SUCK! BOOM CRASH BOOM! *Smashes the puppets together* ** Iso:OH GOD WHY IS THE NIGHTMARE AVE ONE ALIVE- ** Iso:Eh I dont care. ** Iso: Now KISS! *Smashes Menamis head into Jibs* ** 7:13Invader JibJib: IM STILL ALIVE AND THIS IS ACTUAL HELL- ** 7:13MysteriousTriangleguyIso:K I S S Y O U G O D A M N S E X Y J E R K S ** 7:13CravitusAve: "What are you screaming about-" ** Ader: "He scream about thingies." ** 7:14MysteriousTriangleguyIso: *LIcks the menami puppet in its eyes with a suddenly sprouting tounge* ** Iso:Oh yeah I forgot I gave these puppets consciousness. ** 7:14Cravitus*Suddenly Herm walked out from the restroom.* ** *Herm stared blankly at everyone, and then looked out the window, straight at Iso... And shrugged.* ** 7:14MysteriousTriangleguyIso: Too bad for Talbolt. ** *Iso looked over to Talbolts puppet, that was mangled and tangled in strings, with some of its fingers missing along with an eye* ** *Horror music plays as Talbolt lays there, forced to stay as a broken puppet for eternity* ** 7:15CravitusTalbolt: "OH SWEET MERCIFUL TALLEST, MY FINGERS-" ** 7:15MysteriousTriangleguyIso:HMMM I'M BORED ** 7:16Cravitus*Talbolt falls down stairs elsewhere in the building, and Herm continues to stare at Iso.* ** 7:16MysteriousTriangleguyIso: *Pushes the penthouse away, crashing it into a replica of the mystery shack* ** Iso:I guess I'll have to get some NEW toys to play with. ** Iso:HMMMMMMM *Imagines fire and horrible screaming* ** Iso: I KNOW! ** Iso: *Fingers mold into a phone* Hello? Can you send it over? How quickly? ** *An energy cube appears reading "TO ISO"* ** Iso:That was convient. ** 7:17Cravitus(jib i don't even anymore ** 7:18MysteriousTriangleguyIso: *Head extends, appearing off screen, grabbing the box with his eyes* ** Iso:LETS DIG IN SHALL WE! ** Iso:HEY WHAT THE ** 7:18Invader Jib(this is the irken conquest ending confirmed ** 7:18MysteriousTriangleguyIso:WHAT IS THIS, A MENAMI PRON DOLL WITH SCREWABLE EYE HOLES, I DIDNT WANT THIS UNTIL CHRISTMAS! ** 7:18Invader Jib(and i must scream for everyone ** 7:19MysteriousTriangleguyIso:*GASP* ** Iso: YOU ** 7:19Cravitus(jib - doing god's work ** 7:19MysteriousTriangleguy*Iso stares at herm* ** Iso:YOURE BEHIND THIS ** 7:19Cravitus*Herm continues staring at Iso.* ** *Herm shrugged.* ** 7:19MysteriousTriangleguyIso: *Menacingly shrugs back* ** Temporal Umbra has joined the chat. ** 7:19Cravitus*Herm raised his arm, suddenly...* ** *And drank a bucket of chocolate yogurt!* ** 7:20MysteriousTriangleguyIso:OH SCREW YOU HERM FOR NOT EVEN GIVING ME ANY. ** Iso:Oh wait I forgot none of you are real. ** 7:20Cravitus*Another Herm appeared behind Iso, and did the same.* ** *And another.* ** *And another.* ** 7:20MysteriousTriangleguyIso: *Fires a pink laser, destroying the pent house* ** Iso:WHAT ** 7:21Cravitus*More Herms appeared, until Iso was surrounded by the yogurt-consuming Herms.* ** 7:21MysteriousTriangleguyIso:THESE HERMS GAINED AN IMMUNITY TO BEING DESTROYED ** Iso:NOOOOOOO ** Iso:THE YOGURT ** Iso:DYING FROM ** Iso:LACK OF SHARING ** Iso:HERM YOU GREEDY FAT BUCKET, THIS IS WHY WE ARENT FRIENDS, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ** 7:21Cravitus*The herms closed in, and continued to devour chocolate yogurt, shrugging continuously as if laughing* ** 7:22MysteriousTriangleguy*Iso screamed, being consumed by the herms* ** 7:22Cravitus*The first herm leaned in, opening his mouth...* ** *And Iso woke up screaming in a bed.* ** 7:23MysteriousTriangleguyJelly monster: And thats how you met dfhnfyjhngkuyhkg,hik'gfhcdxdlooprliklTEDCDFTGHJHGKLOPXUUPP000-EEOP. ** Iso:... ** Iso:That story was ** Iso:awful ** Iso:I'm going to drown you ** 7:23Cravitus*Herm continued to drink his chocolate yogurt behind Iso.* ** 7:23MysteriousTriangleguyIso:I'm going to drown you like a sad little puppy. ** Iso:WHATFU- ** 7:24Cravitus*Then everything went black.* ** 7:24MysteriousTriangleguy*THE END...? IM TIRED I DUNNO* ** 7:24Cravitus (i think that's an ending Category:Crack Roleplays Category:Joke Articles Category:Cravitus Universe Category:Roleplays Category:Irken Conquest Category:Fanon Category:Noncanon Fanon